I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
