Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
