Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
