you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
