I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
