so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
