I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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