there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
