Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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