mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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