I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
