It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
