Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Apparently you make a good broom.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
