Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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