is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize