One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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