My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
