O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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