It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
