i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize