I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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