If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
