Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
