I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
