I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
