when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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