Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
