Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
