I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize