Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
