Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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