The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
