I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
