Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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