I wish my penis had an off switch
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
