so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
