The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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