I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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