i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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