So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
