Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
