Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
