Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize