I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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