You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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