We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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