Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
FUCK WHALES
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
