thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize