Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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