I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
