Porn is love you can see.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
