somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
