We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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