i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
