im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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