theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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