Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
