yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
