there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
