hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
