good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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