I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
