her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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