So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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