All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
